Archive for the ‘Video Games’ Category

OGAP ALPHA EP-007 – 21st Century Killing Machines

Multitasking taken to its ultimate conclusion

 

In the longest (and best?) episode yet. P&R (separated by a snowstorm) acquire much needed ethical diversity to the podcast by bringing in Daryl Surat of the Anime World Order podcast to review Bulletstorm and Saints Row The Third. Strap It On.

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

The GOTY's

We all talk about our favorite games from the recently deceased 2011, and P&R’s facade about how they played all the good games of 2011, are shatterd. Because while Pat and Rouge can only name around 4 or 5; Daryl names off like about 8 or 10. We here at OGAP do not have to worry about us losing our professional amateurism badge, anytime soon.

We review the game that everybody brushed off as Juvenile, Stupid, and “A GAME GIVES ME TOO MUCH CONTROL-ICAN’TTHINKFORMYSELFGETTHISTHINGOUTTAHERE!”; Bulletstorm. We laud the storm of bullets as a very fun, strategic game, that’s a fantastic satire of first person shooters. Hopefully as a result, more people will play this game, because as of this writing it’s like $20 on Steam.

We also review Saints Row The Third. You should play Saints Row The Third.

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

You can follow Baby Jones on twitter @Whats_Ur_Name

Patrick realizes that his entire life is nothing more than a lie. But NOT EVEN THAT, is enough to stop Baby Jones from reviewing Saints Row 3 and Bulletstorm.

His favorite games of 2011 were

  • Bulletstorm
  • Saints Row The Third
  • Portal 2
  • Catherine
  • Deus Ex: Human Revolution
  • Resistance 3
  • The Elder Scrolls 5 Skyrim

ROUGE 37

You can follow this hand on twitter @TheRouge37

 Rouge talked to Daryl for minutes thinking that Daryl is Pat Jones. Even though they sound nothing alike. But then–during the conference call on skype–Rouge must have forgotten who he was and changed his own  profile name to Pat Jones. Everyone wants to be Pat Jones apparently…

Rouge’s favorite games of 2011 are

  • Bulletstorm
  • Minecraft
  • Portal 2
  • Saints Row The Third

AND A VERY SPECIAL GUEST STAR

Daryl Surat

You can follow the bat and/or the skeleton on twitter @DarylSurat

 P&R bring much needed ethical diversity & credibility to this episode by recruiting Daryl Surat –One of the co-hosts of the biggest anime podcasts on the internet– to review video games. And Daryl sure shows those Professional Amateurs who’s boss.

Because he has multiple favorite games from 2011, unlike us.

  • Deus Ex: Human Revolution
  • Batman: Arkham City
  • F.3.A.R.
  • Bulletstorm
  • Shadows of the Damned
  • Warhammer 4oK: Space Marine
  • Saints Row The Third
  • The Witcher 2
  • Tatics Orge
  • And he probably has more, but we had to stop him because we got upset at ourselves for not playing these games…

THE END

POST-MORTEM

Episode No.007

Title: “21st Century Killing Machines”

Length: 1:51:28

Intro: “Bombshell” by Powerman 5000

Commercial Breaks 1-3: “Power” by Kanye West

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: MP3(iTunes/OGAP) AIFF(Soundcloud)

Date Recorded: 1-21-12

Date Released: 1-23-12

OGAP ALPHA EP-006 – Pat Jonez is Just a Hateful Man

Pat Jonez is Just a Hateful Man

FUS ROH DA! In the first episode of the podcast where we review a VIDEO GAME, we review a video game called The Elder Scrolls 5: SKYRIM. Is it kwel? Is it sexist? IS IT RACIST? Is Patrick just being hateful? Listen to find out.

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

SCROLLS 5: SKYRIM

THE OGAP reviews the game that self-diagnosed Aspergers around the internet have been celebrating for months, Skyrim. But apparently, P&R don’t  liek it. APPARENTLY, P&R like games that are well put together, engaging, and have an ending, and APPARENTLY SKYRIM IS NOT A GREAT GAME!!!111! AND THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO THINK THAT GAMES LIKE SAINTS ROW THE THIRD THE BASTION AND PORTAL TOO ARE BETTER THAN A GAME THAT LETS U CUT OFF PEOPLES HEADS AND MOUNT THEM ON THE WALL!!1!

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

You can follow this serial accuser on twitter @Whats_Ur_Name

 Patrick calls out a lot of people on the internet for rewarding bad behavior, and it will probable come back to bite him in the ass. And we learn that he doesn’t like stuff to go on forever; but that’s because he is a HATEFUL MAN. That also probably explains his poor taste.

You can follow Ganondork on twitter @TheRouge37

 ROUGE 37 FINALLY GETS A MONOLOGUE , and; while he agrees with Pat on how SKYRIMS BAD. He likes games that can go on forever (like Minecraft) and he thinks that Patrick has questionable tastes…

THE END

POST-MORTEM

Episode No. 006

Title: Pat Jonez is Just a Hateful Man

Length: 1:29:44

Intro: “Dragonborn” by Jermey Soule

Commercial Break #1: “EPIC SKYRIM RAP” by Dan Bull

Commercial Break #2: “Shout” by the Isley Brothers

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: MP3(OGAP/iTunes) AIFF (Soundcloud)

Date Recorded/Released: 1-16-12

OGAP ALPHA EP-005 – Kinect for Xbox, Trolls, and Santa Claus

THAT WILL KILL YOU

In the first episode of the last new year. Patrick and Rouge review the Kinect for Xbox 360. And their credibility is called into serious questioning…

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

"I Know where you live..."

"I know what you did last night..."

"You have been a bad boy, OGAP..."

Get this thing outta here.

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

The Otaku

You can follow this ungrateful "cripple" on twitter, @Whats_Ur_Name

 Patrick did not disappoint this episode. His story of misgiving would have been sad, If he wasn’t A UNGRATEFUL BITCH WHO YELLS AT HIS MOTHER FOR GIVING HIM SOCKS. And apparently, the Kinect crippled him, but IF HE WASN’T WEARING ALL THAT SLUTTY CLOTHING, THEN MAYBE HE WOULD STOP TRIPPING OVER HIS TIE AND STUMBLING UPON THE GROUND.

THE ROUGE 37

You can follow the laughing man on twitter, @TheRouge37

Rouge laughs a lot in this episode…and that’s about it.

THE END

POST-MORTEM

Episode No.005

Title: “Kinect for Xbox, Trolls, and Santa Claus”

Length: 54:45

Intro: “Bombshell” by Powerman 5000

Commercial break 1: “Connect -Game Instrumental-” by Kajiura Yuki

Commercial break 2: “Honeys In The Place” by Aaron Wheeler, Ben Wheeler, & Nigel Thompson

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: MP3 (iTunes/OGAP) AIFF (Soundcloud)

Date recorded: 1-6-12

Date released: 1-10-12

OGAP ALPHA EP-004 – Rage Against The Machines: iPhone 4 Directors Cut

Rage...rising!

In the 5th(?) episode of OGAP ALPHA. We review the iPhone 4S, and iOS 5. Pre-reqiusite WARNING! This episode contains profanity, sexism, and RAGE! As such, it is offensive…to everyone.

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

Yes, the OGAP crew finally releases an episode, and its about the iPhone 5 iPhone 4$, We pretty much talk about everything everyone has already talked about, chief among them is Siri, the humble electronic assistant, and we proceed to ask it questions that everyone already asked it, two months ago. If you had the iPhone 3GS and are due for an upgrade, you should get the 4$, if not, then be a little patient and wait for the next iPhone

We played rage. Did you?

Surprisingly enough, we talked about the game RAGE(Which we were going to originally talk about, but scrapped the idea), and it’s not very good. We also talked about stories of irony, rejection,  FLASH, and everything else that makes us play RAGE.

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

You can follow this terminally single man on twitter, @Whats_Ur_Name

Patrick spent the interim between episodes growing out his No Shave November(TM) beard & mustache. During the episode, we find out that Pat Jonez is a very depressed individual, someone aught to drug him up with some Abilify(R)

THE ROUGE 37

You can follow this professional photographer on twitter, @TheRouge37

In this episode, we learn that Mr. 37 is a PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER. That must explain why he is so enthused with the 4$, because it takes excellent pictures (unless you use the flash). Hopefully he won’t regret his purchase of the 4$, but you should always bet on buyers remorse.

Siri

At least it knows it's name

 Siri, the humble personal assistant, dazzled us with all of its powers, such as where to stash bodies, telling the meaning of life, and calling you an ambulance. We feel bad for dragging her out here to do everything that the internet already did six months ago, but what else were we going to talk about? RAGE?

THE END.

POST-MORTEM

Episode No.004

Title:  “Rage Against The Machines: iPhone 4 Directors Cut”

Length: 1:11:44

Intro: “Bombshell” by Powerman 5000

Commercial breaks 1 & 2: “Rolling In The Deep” by ADELE

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: MP3 (OGAP/iTunes) AIFF (Soundcloud)

Date recorded: 12-3-11

Date released: 12-6-11

OHHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

Once upon a time. There was a comics convention in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. Where there where video games, Playboy bunnies, deloreans, batmobiles, and some comics. And one day, Pat Jonez from OGAP went there to learn about the human condition. These are his stories.

THE FOLLOWING PICTURES ARE UNEDITED 

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Patrick had a very emotional time at NYCC. There he played a sequel to the darkness, Skyward Swords, 3D lands, Dead Islands, and messed with MAX PAYNE 3 and ASURA’S WRATH.  He was very enthusiastic about playing video games at a comics convention, you may look no further than the times when he frequently check his 3DS to see if he got any Street Pass(TM) tags. Street Pass(TM) sure came in handy here, because Patrick faced over a 100,000 people on Saturday and it showed, the halls were packed and it took over ten minutes to navigate the rooms as such. However, Patrick only got 64 Street Pass(TM) tags during the whole trip. As for comics, Patrick didn’t get any, didn’t read any, and didn’t hear anything about comic books. As such , Patrick is left to wonder if New York Comic Con has been hijacked. Because he sees a large booth for The Black Eyed Peas Experience(TM) The Game, but no such equivalent for comics, sans a booth for the Avengers movies.

New York Comic Con is the sloppy seconds for those who didn’t go to San Diego Comic Con, but soon it won’t be. The convention is growing at an alarming rate, and by next year, it will be just as insufferable as SDCC. For these reasons, Patrick Jones closes the book on this tale and scores it 2 Hats out of Five.

OGAP ALPHA EP-003 – Three Dimensional Shit

SOUL'd OUT

I liek OGAP before they went mainstream

Son, I am dissapoint. In the third episode of OGAP ALPHA, You said you would review the Nintendo 3DS and Spotify. You only reviewed the 3DS and that was shit. This is what happens when a podcast sells out.

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

3DS

We don't lieks it

 We review the 3DS. Mr. 37 and Pat Jonez hate it, It’s a shit device that costs too much blood and treasure to use. Don’t be tempted by its ports of old games you like. There are better alternatives…

Yes

We have joined up with Soundcloud! They are now hosting our show and providing the RSS feed for the podcast as part of their Podcasting Beta. Sure you could use  other stuff to listen to us… BUT USE THE SOUNDCLOUD STUFF.

Just Kidding...We didn't get around to it.

We were going to review Spotify, the streaming music service, BUT WE GOT BOOBOOS!!! Maybe someday we’ll get around to it…

THE PRESSURE!!

One of the hosts suffer a mental breakdown, and there is lots of fighting, physically and mentally, as a result. This episode is guaranteed to lower your opinion of us. Even more than the last one.

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

You can follow this Corporate Shill on twitter @Whats_Ur_Name

Pat Jonez shows how susceptible he is to being scammed. Not only does he buy the terrible 3DS, he also bought it at his local national retailers, causing him to pay sales tax. Again.

THE ROUGE 37

You can always follow Mr. 37 on tweeter. @TheRouge37

 Rouge shows his dedication(?) to the podcast by doing it while being wounded, TWICE (And he keeps going for another half hour!). As such, this episode is dedicated to him, for we will never forget his sacrifice.

AND A VERY SPECIAL GUEST STAR

LOLCATZ

No.

This episode, we are infested by THE MEMES!  WHO TRY TO MAKE OUR SHOW EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS!

We are also joined by a Cat. Named Citty.

THE END.

POST MORTEM

Episode No. 003

Title: Three Dimensional Shit

Length: 58:34

Intro: “Bombshell” by Powerman 5000

Comercial Break #1:  Apple “Think Different” Commercial w/ Steve Jobs narrating

Comercial Break #2: Nintendo 3DS Music – Streetpass Mii Plaza

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: Mp3

Date Recorded: 10-9-11

Date Released: 10-10-11